Screw Calm and Get Angry is a little chunky hardcover published by Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC (Kansas City 2010).  Little chunky books are just so hard not to look into, to savor,  to roll in one’s hands like a lollipop in the mouth.  So yeah, I enjoyed it.

Even though this book isn’t new, I just saw it for the first time last month.  Here are some fun quotes from it, and don’t worry if you are offended by one, since you’ll find another you agree with (the quotes are from a whole range of political, religious, and philosophical views):

How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.  Adolf Hitler

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.  Aesop

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil but because of those who look on and do nothing.  Albert Einstein

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.  Elie Wiesel

Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.  W.C. Fields

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy, that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.  J.K. Galbraith

Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only.  Samuel Butler

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.  Cynthia Nelms

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.  Ambrose Bierce.

You can’t say civilization don’t advance . . . for in every war they kill you in a new way.  Will Rogers

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish that he didn’t trust me so much.  Mother Teresa

If you wake up and you’re not in pain, you know you’re dead.  Russian proverb

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique, and not too much imagination.  Christopher Isherwood

It is only by not paying one’s bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.  Oscar Wilde

The modern banking system manufactures money out of nothing.  Perhaps the most astounding piece of sleight-of-hand that was ever invented.  Banking was conceived in inequity and born in sin . . .  But if you want to continue to be slaves of the bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, then let the bankers continue to create money and control credit.  Josiah Charles Stamp

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.  Stephen Leacock

Criminal:  A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.  Howard Scott

Money:  There’s nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.  Sophocles

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.  Mark Twain

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.  Aldous Huxley

A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a  man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.  Georgy Jean Nathan

I like work; it fascinates me.  I can sit and look at it for hours.  Jerome K. Jerome

Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.  Gore Vidal

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession.  I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  Ronald Reagan

Politics, N[oun].  Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.  The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.  Ambrose Bierce.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.  Albert Einstein